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Befriend Your Enemy

Do it. It’s surprisingly fulfilling. It makes you believe in yourself in a way that no self help book can. It raises your game. It exhausts you, it delights you.

It’s a challenge. You can rise to it or walk away. When you do decide to take it, the road isn’t easy or smooth sailing- expect frustration, ridicule, self doubt and anger. Persist. Rope in people to help.

For the first time in my life I got all the answers right on a math test. It was a small victory, a mini battle in a great war (the war is still on!)

Do many things, but befriend your enemy. The satisfaction is worth it.

Math Mayhem

Over the last few days (or has it been weeks?) I’ve been struggling with Math. Of course,Ā I was never fond of the subject. Sure, I made it through school and I can (usually) tell if i have the right change/ the mileage my car gives but I’ve never been comfortable with the subject.

I’m trying very hard to understand how math works these days, hoping for a moment of clarity. My cousin, aunt and a couple of friends are Math aficionados, who help with tips, explanations and I’m making progress. Two days ago, I got all my basic sums right. Oh, the joy!!!

For now, it’s about perseverance. The climb is steep and the journey long, but there is hope.

29

I turn 29 today. 20 God damned 9. 

I’m in Paris, my most favourite city in the whole world on my birthday, for the second time. My first ever trip was on my 20th birthday and I’m back as the 20s come to an end.

This trip is special to say the least. My 11 year old niece, Pumpkin and I are traveling together. It is, as she puts it, an item off our bucket list. :) I couldn’t have asked for a better birthday gift. 

At 29, I’m grateful. 

I’m grateful to have this bond with Pumpkin and the opportunity to explore the world with her. To see her grow and evolve, for conversations and comfortable silences. For staring at a city, both slightly overwhelmed. I’m grateful for the trust my (core šŸ˜‰) family places in me, and the love and care they shower. For the best set of nieces in the whole world. For aunts  who dote and love beyond imagination.

For my family, friends, colleagues and the amazing roller coaster ride that is my life.  

I’m grateful for travel,  expanded horizons, heartbreaks, brilliant teachers, farsi exams. I’m grateful for meeting people who changed my life, made it more beautiful, added depth and perspective. 

For friends who inspire, and make life colourful. For advice and kind words. For the hajaar books I’ve bought but not read. 

For Gulpatti. 

For Babajaan. 

Thank you. 

The 20s have been great so far, and I know 29 won’t disappoint! :) :) 

March 13th

You would have turned fourteen today.

We’d go for a walk, then get you a massive tub of ice cream. We’d sit on the bench in Veera Park and watch the sun set over Bombay. Baba would have shooed away stray dogs as you’d take a nap. We’d play ‘fetch’ and run around the ground before going back home.

Our life still has a Chhoutu shaped void. There’s still space under the sink for you to nap. There’s a Disney water bowl in the loft. There are memories held of theĀ gentlest and smartest dog-friend one could ever wish for.

Happy birthday Chhoutu, I hope someone up there threw you a ball and gave you a banana and loads of ice cream.

Split Second

A split second can change your life

Whether it’s eyes meeting for a split second can create an irrevocable relationship or Ā hitting the breaks a split second too late…

A split second can undo confidence built over a decade,

A split second can cost a lifetime.

Bookshelves

I spent the last couple of hours clearing my bookshelves. As is the case with most bibliophiles, I have more books than space to house them. Having lived alone for a while, my books covered every available surface of the house but I have two room-mates moving in very soon. As ecstatic as I am with this development, the first thought is where will my books go?! The said roomies-to-be are inclined to be neat and will claim some cupboard space too, which makes today’s task very necessary.

So, I cleaned the shelves out, sorted my books and decided to put some away, to make space for the heavier academic texts and assorted books I need to teach and (occasionally) write. It was easy to put away a few books that I’ve read and know I won’t need, but to put away some was a tough decision.

Having found an accessible but storage spot for several beloved books, I could trace my journey over the last few years. The choice of books has evolved, from popular fast paced page turners, cheap romances (I loved Mills and Boon and I am not ashamed to say it!) Ā to books on history, culture studies, literature, poetry, gender, travel and art. There are books on teaching and learning, on design, philosophy and biographies, catalogues of museums and art shows quietly illustrating the journey my life has taken.

As ‘grown up’ books line my newly re-organised shelves, I feel a tad overwhelmed by the amount that there is to read and discover while a part of me misses the Harry Potters.

This song sneaked up on me this evening. There is something about the simplicity and honesty in the lyrics and pain in David Gates’s voice. I wonder if this kind of emotion can be synthesised and can these feelings be manufactured?

In a sticky situation, many people get tongue tied, either for a lack of words or sincerity of sentiment. How lucky for them, songs sometimes say what they can’t (or won’t) find words to say ‘bye!

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